


Blue Hour (Run Away With Me)

by Tae2Junnies



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Although It'll Blow Over, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Cheesiness, Firsts, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Lots of kissing, M/M, Mention of alcohol, RichYeonjun!, Romance, RunAwayAU!, Self-Doubt, Soft Choi Soobin, This Is A Story About Freeing Yourself From Your Family's Ties, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, manipulative parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tae2Junnies/pseuds/Tae2Junnies
Summary: “Run away with me.” He said again as he walked to Yeonjun to take his hands in his. They were clammier than moments ago.“Soobin what are you—”“I’m in love with you, hyung.”Yeonjun gaped and recoiled at the words. He didn’t let go of Soobin’s hands, though.“Binnie-- I can't just give up on everyone." Yeonjun spluttered, "What about Heejin? What about the company? What about my parents?”“The company will be fine. Heejin doesn’t want this either, hyung and as for your parents. Fuck them.” Yeonjun gasped at the cuss, because Soobin barely ever did. “Fuck them, I love you. You like me—”“No... I love you, Soobin.” Yeonjun added, and gaped again, as if he was himself surprised it came out. And Oh.Oh.Or:(AU) Soobin had always been in love with Yeonjun. Even before his parents decided to marry the older off for the sake of their company.Maybe that was why it was easy to ask him to run away with him and never look behind.(Maybe that was why things couldn't always be easy, either. )
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Blue Hour (Run Away With Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, Hello lovelies!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this :)
> 
> oh! also for those who have already red this, please read the author note :3

“ _You’re going to what?!_ ”

Soobin shushed Taehyun because of how loud he had exclaimed. They were in the middle of the wedding venue that breathed classiness. The only noises you were supposed to hear were the soft murmurs of the guests and the soft melody of the wedding small band playing ambiance songs as they waited for the ceremony to start.

“Will you calm down, please?” Soobin asked quietly although Taehyun hadn’t lost his gob smacked expression.

“Oh sorry. Am I too loud?” Taehyun patronized him, “I wouldn’t want to make a scene. You’re only planning to ruin Yeonjun hyung’s wedding, after all.”

Soobin winced at the wording. When said like this it sounded horrible. Selfish almost.  
He didn’t want to think about it this way.

There nothing more he would want than just forget about this crazy idea that had been invading his mind for the last three weeks.

But it was Yeonjun.

He wanted to be selfish about this, just this one time. For himself but also Yeonjun.

“I know it sounds bad, but it was just an idea— “

“Oh, please, Soobin. I’ve known you for fifteen years. I know the difference between you having crazy stupid ideas that will never see the light of day and... this. You’re serious about this.” Taehyun deadpanned and once again, Soobin winced.

He always saw through them. All four of them. Taehyun had just that skill that made him able to know exactly what any the member of their group of friends thought. It was frightening sometimes. Beomgyu and Kai were shitty liars, but Taehyun could even read Soobin who always prided himself in being good at concealing his emotions.

Maybe that’s why he was so uncertainly certain that he had to object to his wedding.

“I just— I feel like he’s making a mistake. You said it yourself last week, Hyun! He doesn’t want this.” Soobin pleaded in a hush when some members of Yeonjun’s family passed by next to them.

Taehyun’s mouth pressed in a thin line like he always did when he was stuck in a corner. It was true, after all. Taehyun had drunkenly admitted that he thought that Yeonjun was making a mistake by agreeing to be married off for his family’s business’ sake. For obvious and less obvious reasons.

“You said, that he had told you that he was freaking out because he didn’t have any feeling for Heejin-ssi, and that for those reasons, you didn’t think that he should go through with this wedding!” Soobin pressed. He felt his phone buzzed as Taehyun sighed. Soobin took his phone out of his pocket. It was Beomgyu.

  
**From: Beomie  
The groom is looking for you, best man  
Bring Hyunnie with you***

Soobin sighed, “We need to go. Yeonjun hyung is looking for us.”

Taehyun nodded, even if it was hesitant. Soobin could see that he wanted to say more, though.

As they walked to the rooms designated for the grooms, Soobin cleared his throat, “I just don’t want him to be stuck in a loveless marriage for the sake of his already loaded family. You know how much he already had to sacrifice just to please his parents.” Soobin stated, and it was true. Yeonjun had always been the one who had to be way more proper than the rest of kids his age, more careful. He had this weight that always rested on his shoulders because of his family’s constant pressure to be this perfect heir to Choi Tech, their highly successful technology multinational.

Yeonjun was a people pleaser in all sense of the term. Soobin had seen it ever since they had met, years ago and the older had confirmed it later, all he wanted was for people to be proud of him. That meant that you had to be constantly thinking of anything but yourself.  
In retrospect, being married off was only a logical continuity of how demanding his hyung’s parents had been ever since Yeonjun had been able to walk. But contrarily to how understanding his friends- including Soobin - were to Yeonjun’s conceding nature regarding his family’s expectations, Soobin couldn’t let his hyung do this.

He was in love of Yeonjun.

Seeing him agreeing to marry Jeon Heejin had already been so painful. Painful because of how Soobin himself felt, but also because it was evident that Yeonjun wasn’t doing it for the right reasons.

He loved Yeonjun and wanted him to be happy.

“If you were to do it, would it be for hyung or for yourself, though?” Taehyun asked simply as if it wasn’t a huge matter that hadn’t infested Soobin’s mind.

Was it selfish?

If there was something that Soobin and Yeonjun had in common, it was that a lot of what they did was to satisfy others. If Yeonjun made it his mission to make his family proud, Soobin, in his own modest ways - given his far more modest background- liked to help those around him just because. It was his nature, his mother always told him. He was just _that_ selfless.

Maybe that’s why he felt some kind of guilt when he thought about actually stopping or straight up ruining Yeonjun’s wedding. Sure, his hyung most likely didn’t want to get married for business purposes but Soobin still knew it was _his_ choice, at the end of the day.  
It was something that had ate Yeonjun up for the last weeks, to the point that the older hadn’t had a bachelor party, _that_ Soobin knew. So, it had been a mutual agreement between Taehyun, Beomgyu, Kai and him to be there for Yeonjun, to only show support, since it was, once again, his choice to go through with his parent’s decision; no matter how much he seemed to second guess it. They had to be there for him no matter what they thought.

Who Soobin was to stop him from what was Yeonjun’s decision?

Lost in his thoughts, he entered the room Yeonjun was preparing him without answering Taehyun’s question.

The groom’s room was how it was supposed to be, a little too loud, filled with an atmosphere of small but controlled panic. The wedding didn’t start before an hour but the stylists, hair and makeup staff hired by Yeonjun and Heejin’s mothers were all surrounding Yeonjun as if he had to be presentable in the next fifteen minutes.

“Here you guys are,” Beomgyu hissed when the two groomsmen entered the room, “Nothing seem to help Yeonjun hyung relax and his mother is making things worse. Where have you been?”

Taehyun raised a single eyebrow at Soobin who avoided his pressing stare, before looking back at his boyfriend, “We were just at the bar. We had things to talk about. Speaking of it, Soobin don’t you have something to say to Beomgyu?”

Soobin hated Taehyun.

If anyone had a say about Yeonjun’s arranged marriage it was Choi Beomgyu. Out of the four of them, Beomgyu was the one who had the most similar background to Yeonjun’s. Although Beomgyu’s parents were way less uptight than Yeonjun’s, Beomgyu was still the youngest son of Choi Jinho, South Korea’s supreme court’s judge. He also had been the one who had known Yeonjun the longest, introducing him to Kai, Taehyun and Soobin whom he had been friends with ever since they had hit it off in their junior dance class.

Beomgyu knew best that you shouldn’t go against Yeonjun’s parents words, no matter how restrictive and _imprisoning_ they could be. More than once he was the one who would have Yeonjun’s back when one of them would be disappointed at the elder’s absence because duty called (read: Yeonjun’s parents needing him for the most mundane, though “pressing” matter).

God knew what would be Beomgyu’s reaction if he knew what Soobin had in mind regarding Yeonjun’s wedding.

“Hum...” Soobin hesitated, before glancing at Taehyun who had the audacity to shrug at him. Beomgyu was looking at him with a small frown, surely because he was stressed because of his best friend’s wedding. Soobin gulped “They didn’t have the whisky you like...” He lied.  
Beomgyu blinked at him, suddenly looking really unimpressed, just like Taehyun did, but for different reasons.

“Why would I— I _don’t care_ about that, hyung! We want to avoid a _crisis_ here!” Beomgyu pointed towards the cluster of people around a moss of blond gelled hair that could only belong to Yeonjun. Yeonjun’s mother, Choi Yina, was on the phone, barking at someone about flower arrangements on his right. On his left was Kai that seemed to be here just as an emotional support because he was holding Yeonjun’s hadn’t with a not so convincing reassuring smile.

The younger looked up when the tree men approached the group of people surrounding Yeonjun, “Here you are! Hyung, Soobin hyung and Taehyun hyung are here.” Kai said in relief, as if Yeonjun couldn’t see them from the reflection of mirror.

Then Soobin saw him.

And he was, for the lack of better words, breathtaking.

Yeonjun’s hair were gelled in a classy way that cleared out his usually floppy bangs out of his face. They were sleeked back perfectly which complimented his subtly contoured face. The makeup was simple. Some foundation and concealer to hide dark circles and highlight on his nose and cheekbones. The eye makeup was just enough to bring out the light brown of the contact lenses he had on.

Yeonjun was beautiful, he was stunning, he was—

Taehyun nudged him with his elbow to wake him up from his Yeonjun-induced trance.  
“Hi,” he choked out when Yeonjun and his gaze finally met. Yeonjun’s strained expression immediately cleared to replace nervous but still adorable smile.

“Honestly. How do I look?”

Soobin wanted to laugh. He wanted to wheeze because no matter the context, no matter if it was 3AM in the middle of the night when he and Yeonjun talk about random stuff or if it was 5PM in the park during golden hour and that Yeonjun insisted they take selfies, the answer would still be the same.

“Gorgeous.” He breathed out. He heard a sigh coming from this right, most likely from Taehyun.

Yeonjun blinked, his lips parting in a small ‘o’, “Sorry I didn’t catch that. The hair dryer was on.” he said. Just Soobin’s luck. He feared Yeonjun’s reaction if he had heard this way too honest answer.

Soobin flushed and cleared his throat, not knowing how to rephrase things without revealing too much. Before he could say anything, Taehyun cut him “You look handsome, hyung.”

Yeonjun’s eyes crinkled slightly and his ears slightly reddened. Soobin smiled instinctively at the sight. Gosh, was he whipped.

“Yeonjun-ssi, we are done.” One of the hair stylists said quietly. Yeonjun smiled at them gratefully and slightly bowed them as they bowed back. Yeonjun’s mother perked up at sight and quickly put away her phone to shoo away the staff members. Not that they didn’t scurry away as soon as she approached her son.

“You look great, Yeonjun-ah.” She expressed with a small smile. Choi Yina did not know how to smile fully, Soobin had noticed a long time ago. It was always a slight rise of the corner of her lips and a crinkle on each corner of her eyes just like her son. That was it. Never more and never less. It always looked calculated and most of the time not genuine.

It used to make Soobin uncomfortable back he was in high school, especially when this smile was addressed to him, but he eventually had gotten used to it. You had to, really, if you wanted to stay in Yeonjun’s life. It was like a package deal. If you want Yeonjun, he came with his parents. It was a sacrifice that Soobin was very willing to make.

“Thank you, mother.” Yeonjun smiled but you didn’t need to know him to know that there was apprehension in his eyes. His shaky voice was enough of a tell.

Choi Yina had noticed it quite immediately. She tutted and shook her head, “You need to be confident, Yeonjun-ah, you’re marrying a huge asset to our family. We invited only the most prestigious elite of our country.” She scolded and Yeonjun sat up straight, shoulders looking almost tense. Soobin couldn’t help but tensed himself at the sight. He hated this.

The simple fact that his mother called Jeon Heejin an asset, as if she were only a tool, and not a human being irked him. None of this whole marriage ordeal was right.

Still, Yeonjun nodded obediently to his mother’s words, his face stoic and focus, as it always was every time, she asked something from him. She held her son’s stare in the reflection of the big mirror and after ten long seconds, she nodded and turned around to look coldly at Soobin and the others. Some members soft the staff flinched.

“Make sure that he is ready at the end of the aisle in the next 40 minutes.” She mostly spoke to the two wedding planners, Yeji and Chaeryeong, who looked overwhelmed but still gulped and nodded. “You,” she pointed at Yeji, the most collected one of the two, “You come with me. We need to make sure that the bride is perfect.”

The woman nodded and bowed as Choi Yina crossed them to exit the room without even glancing at Soobin and the others. Yeji followed her quick enough.

Chaeryeong glanced at Yeonjun and sighed. Yeonjun nodded in understanding. His mother was quite the character. “I don’t even know how you handle it on a daily basis, Yeonjun-ssi.” She sighed again, and the whole staff nodded collectively. Soobin chuckled because it was just a common agreement that Choi Yina made everything tenser in the worst way. It was just a lot to handle.

“You get used to it, I guess,” Yeonjun smiled sheepishly as he rose from his seat after that one of the stylists took of the cape that protected his crisp black suit. Soobin quickly appreciated the sight. God, he looked so nice.

“Well, I’m just glad it will be all over tomorrow.” Chaeryeong said as a smile regained her delicate face. She looked at Soobin and his friends that had stood in a corner of the room to let the staff gather their stuff. “Listen guys. I know I should keep an eye on him, but I still have to oversee some details for the reception. Can I trust you to make sure that he’ll be at the aisle in 35 minutes?”

They all nodded, and she smiled in what seemed to be relief. Most likely because it was one less task that she had to take care of. Fast enough, the rest of the staff exited the room, all bowing and wishing Yeonjun good luck, to which Yeonjun smiled, thanking them several times. Soobin smiled fondly. No matter how stressed he was, Yeonjun always made sure to let the people around him that he was grateful and to make sure that they were comfortable.

Five minutes later, it was only the five of them in the room.

Yeonjun sighed and turned to the mirror once again. “Shit.” He muttered as his shoulder dropped slightly.

Kai and Beomgyu were on the cream-colored sofa in the right side of the room, Soobin and Taehyun were still in the other end, but Soobin moved to the center to join Yeonjun. At the cue, the rest of them joined him, too.

“Are you okay?” Kai asked with a small voice. There was no need to beat around the bus. Yeonjun might have confessed his discomfort on a drunk whim, but they couldn’t not address the tense elephant in the room. Soobin discreetly took Yeonjun’s hand that rested against his hip. Yeonjun’s gaze fell on him and his expression cleared a little to showcase a more serene – and dare Soobin say, fond - smile.

“I have to be.” He answered as he squeezed Soobin’s hand.

“That’s not an answer, hyung.” Taehyun pointed out and Soobin couldn’t help but agree.

“Well, that’s the only one that I can give to you guys.” Yeonjun said truthfully.

A silence took the room as they didn’t know what to say. This situation was just unbearable. Yeonjun was the one who was doing this against his will, but they all felt trapped in a way, that Soobin knew.

“Alright, then answer this question. How do you feel?” Beomgyu threw at him, with a smile sad. It was just his type to find a way to get all of their feelings out. He was a psychology major after all.

Taehyun nudged at his boyfriend for pushing Yeonjun, but Yeonjun still answered.

“Honestly, I feel… Nervous? A little confused?” Yeonjun fidgeted as he busied himself by fiddling with Soobin’s hand. Soobin barely payed attention because he could only focus on Yeonjun’s expression that the older tried to school; Despite his effort it was still strained.

“A little overwhelmed, too. Right?” Soobin pointed out and Yeonjun’s gaze came back to his, eyes round. Soobin had always found it funny how surprised Yeonjun was when he successfully read Yeonjun’s feeling just out of his expression. Especially because Yeonjun couldn’t read Soobin for shit.

“Yeah. I’m just… Coming to realize that I’m getting married to… someone I barely know.”

They all collectively sighed.

Despite Soobin’s feelings for Yeonjun and how ruthless Yeonjun’s world was, it hadn’t caught up to Jeon Heejin. From the few time they had met her, she seemed to be nice girl. It was obvious that she didn’t want to marry Yeonjun either. Like Yeonjun had said, they barely knew each other.

“At least she isn’t a stuck-up bitch,” Beomgyu said in a reassuring tone, and although the wording was crude, they all nodded, because it was true that knowing Yeonjun’s parents, he could have been married off to worse.

_(Not that Soobin was ever going to let that happen.)_

The more he watched Yeonjun, the more his idea didn’t sound all that ridiculous. He hated to see his hyung struggle like that. It was saddening.

“I just wished they had left me a choice,” Yeonjun muttered as he let go of Soobin’s hand after a last squeeze. He then took one of the earrings displayed neatly on the table facing the mirror to clip them on his ears, “Not that I really fought back.

“You did what you always do, hyung, and no one blame you. Especially when you have such parents.” Taehyun pressed quietly.

“Yes, hyung. You should just make the most of it.” Kai nodded, his head bobbing cutely. He just wanted to make Yeonjun feel better.

“I don’t even know if I can enter the reception to be at the end of the aisle. I’m just so nervous.” Yeonjun spat out and it was just so out of character for him. He usually was confident and composed at all time. This just proved how overwhelmed he was by the situation.

“What could make you feel better?” Beomgyu asked, a calculating look. He was in his solution mode. Anything to make his best friends feel even a little less crappy.

“I don’t know, Gyu...”

“Oh, come on, hyungie. Alcohol, maybe? That whisky could’ve gotten handy.” Beomgyu looked sternly at Soobin, who looked away nervously. “You poor excuse of a best man.”

Soobin whined in guilt, “I’m sorry, hyungie,” He said, but Yeonjun just chuckled, a little less tense. “I forgot the whisky.”

“It’s okay Soobinie, alcohol might have been a bad decision. I’m happy you guys are here with me. That’s all I need.” Yeonjun said warmly. He spoke to all of them, but his eyes were only on Soobin, which made the younger blush and avoid his stare. Yeonjun had this way to make him feel like his words always had a deeper meaning. A hopeful meaning, to Soobin at least.

“Of course, hyung. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Kai affirmed as he squeezed Yeonjun shoulder from his spot behind him. Yeonjun looked at them all so gratefully, eyes glistening because of the strobe lights around the mirror, and maybe something else, more disturbing.

“Alright, but Hyungie you have a good alcohol tolerance. One drink won’t hurt. Hyunnie come on! Let’s get him some good whisky before we get him to the aisle.” Beomgyu took his boyfriend’s hand and led them to the door. Taehyun let himself dragged but he still had the time to give Soobin a warning glance of ‘Don’t do something stupid.’

Soon it was only Kai, Yeonjun and him in the room. Kai ended up showing Yeonjun cute videos of penguins to change his mind on the impending situation. Soobin just looked at them fondly as Kai bounced on his knees. Yeonjun had sat back on the chair in front of the mirror and the younger was on his knees. Despite being folded Kai still towered over Yeonjun a little bit and Soobin found it all so endearing.

After the third video, Kai suddenly got the urge to go to the toilet, ‘To freshen up’ he said, but they all knew that he had to go to the bathroom when he was very nervous. And they all were nervous for Yeonjun.

Kai ran to the bathroom whose door was adjacent to the room they were in.

Then it was only the two of them.

It was immediate. As soon as Kai exited the room, the façade dropped and Yeonjun sighed, slopping on the chair ungracefully. He looked up and the white ceiling, seemingly in thought, nibbling his lower lip like he always did when he struggled too much.

“What am I doing, Soobinie?” Yeonjun muttered in the air, “…Is this really happening?”

Soobin didn’t know what to say. He himself wondered if it really was happening. If he was going to let it happen.

It was Yeonjun’s whole future, his relationship with his parents that were at stake if he messed up. But in the meantime, one glance at Yeonjun’s restless expression was enough to throw every logical decision out the window.

“I’m sorry hyung.” Was all Soobin said, though. “I wished I could...” do something about it. Anything.

( _You can, dumbass_ )

“I know, Binnie. I know.” Yeonjun sat up again and rose to walk to Soobin. Once again, Soobin was just breathless at how beautiful Yeonjun was.

In seconds, Yeonjun was in front of him, a small smile on his face, as if Soobin was the one that needed support and reassurance.

“It’s hard. I know you’re scared, too.” Yeonjun took his hand, and again, it was soft as silk, even though it was lightly clammy, “That this will change us. That we won’t be like before.” Yeonjun said as his smile dropped slowly. He bit his lips again, and this time Soobin’s eyes glanced at them for a second too long. “But please don’t worry, Binnie. Not too much at least.”

Yeonjun’s hand was warm in his. His palm pillowed against his one and it send sparks in Soobin’s head. Soobin focused on their intertwined hands, because it was easier than seeing Yeonjun’s nervous and painful expression.

He really wanted to say something, but he was scared he would just explode and tell him how much he thought this is a mistake and how much he loved him.

He snapped out of his spiral down as Yeonjun chuckled. He looked back at Yeonjun who also was looking down their conjoined hands. His chuckle was bitter. It sent shivers down Soobin’s spine.

“You know. I always had this idea that things would be different.” Yeonjun muttered. His eyes glistened even more and Soobin wanted to cup his face and kiss his worries away.

“Different how?” Soobin found himself asking.

Yeonjun squeezed his hand as he whispered, “Between you and I.”

Soobin froze. His breathe stopped, just like his heartbeat faltered.

“Wh-What do you mean, hyung?”

“I mean that…” Yeonjun dared looking at him, and his gaze held a different kind of nervousness that what he felt up until now. “I just always felt something. I never knew what to make of it.”

Soobin blinked at him.

“I just… I thought that I would have some time. That _we_ would have some time. But I guess I messed up. I missed my cue.” Yeonjun said as he took Soobin’s other hand and _thank God_ because Soobin felt his legs wanting to give up on him.

God.

_God_.

This was real. Yeonjun was really saying what he thought he was saying.

Twenty minutes before his wedding ceremony.

He gaped and Yeonjun wasn’t saying anything. Just looking at him and his eyes held so many emotions. Sadness. Regret. Dimmed hope.

_Love_.

“Hyungs, I— What’s happening?”

Kai entered back into the room and froze at the scene. Yeonjun pulled out of their hold and no. _No_.

Yeonjun looked so desperate, he still looked at Soobin with those eyes. Those vulnerable bright eyes.

Kai cleared his throat, “Did I missed out on—” but Soobin didn’t let him finish.

(Here went nothing.)

Soobin walked to the bathroom door. Kai still looked confused and it was even worse when Soobin pushed him inside the bathroom to lock the door.

“Hyung? What are you doing?!” a muffled-out Kai asked from the other side of the door. Soobin wasn’t listening, though. His back was against the door as he looked at Yeonjun who held a gob smacked expression.

“Soobin?” Yeonjun simply asked.

The doorknob jumbled as Kai started knocking hard on the door, asking him all kind of questions, and demanding to let him out. It was all white noise.

Soobin crossed the room to lock the door that allowed them to get out of the room.

He wanted to not be distracted if he would do this.

“Seriously, Binnie, what are you doing?”

“ _Run away with me, hyung._ ”

**✜ ✜ ✜**

“What?” Yeonjun hissed out in shock. Kai was still shouting from the bathroom but both Yeonjun and him ignored him.

“Run away with me.” He said again as he walked to Yeonjun to take his hands in his. They were clammier than moments ago.

“Soobin what are you—”

“I’m in love with you, hyung.”

Yeonjun gaped and recoiled at the words. He didn’t let go of Soobin’s hands, though.

“Binnie—”

“Since the day we met, I knew that there was something special. You and me. It’s not just friendship. It’s pure adoration that I feel for you. You’re my best friend and overall, the best thing that ever happened to me, hyung. I just— I knew that, with your family, things would be complicated, so I suppressed it. I never said anything. But now you’re telling me this. It’s not too late, hyung. _Run away with me_ , hyung”

“Soobin...” Yeonjun whispered, “Are you serious?” and Soobin’s heart stuttered. Yeonjun’s expression was unreadable. Soobin didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. Their hands were still intertwined. It must mean something.

“Yes. I am.”

“I just— I don’t know. I have duties.”

“You decided to let me know that you believed there was something between you and I, hyung and I— I am telling you that you didn’t imagine it. It’s real. Feel that,” he took one Yeonjun’s hand and put it against his chest, right were his heart was pounding, “It’s beating so hard for him, every single time you look at me, hyung. It’s _real_.”

“B—But, what about Heejin? What about the company? What about _my parents_?”

“The company will be fine. Heejin doesn’t want this either, hyung and as for your parents. _Fuck them_.” Yeonjun gasped at the cuss, because Soobin barely ever did. “Fuck them, I love you. You like me—”

“—No… I love you, Soobin.” Yeonjun added, and gaped again, as if he was himself surprised it came out. Soobin wasn’t any better, his legs wobbled a little and Yeonjun pulled him. His confession hadn’t erased the uncertain look that adorned his blushing face. Soobin barely had the time enjoy the shivering feeling of requited love. Time was pressing. Kai was getting impatient and Beomgyu and Taehyun could come back at any moment.

“I— Alright. This is… _Okay_. We _love_ each other, it’s evident. But your parents… they hate the idea of you having any type of control in your life, hyung. _You_ told me so.”

Yeonjun looked so thorned. He was biting his lips so hard and this time Soobin did something about it. He took Yeonjun’s face his hands and cradled it preciously. His thumb grazed against his cheeks and reached his bitten lip so that Yeonjun’s teeth let go of Yeonjun’s abused lower lip. Yeonjun shivered and blinked, eyes still on the verge of pouring tears from nervousness and from how shared he was.

“Soobin. I just—”

The exit door rattled, and the knob jumbled in the same fashion as the bathroom’s door, Kai was still hitting the door and screaming out for some kind of attention. Soobin winced. Time was ticking.

“Hyungs?” It was Beomgyu, “Why is the door locked—”, “Soobin hyung! Please don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing?!” It was Taehyun this time. “The wedding is in five minutes!”

Yeonjun looked at Soobin with such an alarming look that Soobin shushed him. With his lips against Yeonjun’s.

Kissing Yeonjun was softer than what he had ever imagined. It sent the best kind of sparks in his head and things just slowed down as he took Yeonjun’s plush chapped lips in his own. Yeonjun gasped in surprise, but seconds later pulled Soobin closer and kissed him back. It made Soobin dizzy. He was so in love.

“Hyungs?!” Kai screamed.

“Soobin! Let us in!” Taehyun hissed through the door.

Soobin could barely register them. Yeonjun’s lips were the only thing he could focus on.

He pulled away for few seconds to take his breath before kissing him again. It was chaos all around them, but they kissed like they had all the time in the world.

Eventually they pulled away, but not without Yeonjun giving him one last peck and Soobin licking Yeonjun’s lower lip in retaliation.

_Wow_ , he thought.

Soobin was breathless, and Yeonjun seemed to be, too.

“That was amazing…” He said as he gazed at Yeonjun’s red now swollen lips. His lip tint was still on even with all the biting and the kisses. Soobin licked his lips at the sight.

“Yeonjun-ssi?” a soft voice hissed behind the door. It was Chaeryeong. “You need to get out, now.”

“Two minutes!” Yeonjun asked, even though he still was staring at Soobin, his eyes even more full of emotions and Soobin wanted to unravel each and everyone of them.

“Your mother is going to ask where you are.” Beomgyu hissed now. “What’s going on?”

“Hyung, if you want to do this, we have to this now.” Soobin hushed, ignoring the knocks and pleas from every end of the room.

“Soobin, I—”

Yeonjun looked so breathtaking as he closed his eyes to sigh. He reopened them and just huffed before pecking Soobin again. Soobin kissed him back but it was short-lived.

“I can’t do this, Binnie.”

“Oh.”

It was all Soobin could say.

“I’m so sorry, I just… I _have to_ marry her. There’s too much at stakes, here. My parents raised me to take over the company and I know that if we run away, it will all fall apart for good.” Yeonjun pleaded out, hands still around Soobin’s slim waist.

It was compelling arguments really. It was also the truth.

But why did it hurt so much.

“Yeonjun-ssi! You need to get out now!”

“Yeonjun…” Soobin begged, barely holing the sob that raked out of his throat. “I… I just—”

“I’m sorry, Binnie.” Yeonjun apologized and a single tear slipped out of the corner of Yeonjun’s dark, shiny orbs. Soobin caught it before it rolled on his cheek.

He couldn’t blame Yeonjun for his decision.

What was he thinking?

This was no fairy tale. It was real life. Happy endings due to reckless decisions didn’t just happen. Yeonjun had a life to lead and Soobin couldn’t get in the way, no matter how much they felt for each other. No matter how sorry Yeonjun looked. No matter how much it seems to hurt them both.

“I have to go, now.”

Soobin barely registered the last pecks Yeonjun left on lips, almost as a silent goodbye.

Barely registered Yeonjun pulling away to open the door and leave the room, following Chaeryeong to probably rush him to the aisle, even though the wedding starts in more than twenty minutes.

Barely registered Beomgyu’s questions, Taehyun’s worried glances and Kai’s hisses of “why would you do that?” until it subdued to quiet and concerned “hyung?”

It was Taehyun’s hand on his shoulder that made him snapped out of his trance to look at his friends who were now quiet.

“I know that things must be hard right now, but we have to be there for Yeonjun hyung, right now.”

And even if it hurt, even if he wanted to cry, he nodded and walked to the ceremony hall.

*,*,*

You could say anything you wanted about Choi Yina. That she was ruthless, demanding, bossy and even mean. One thing was sure, though. She planned beautiful reception. The wedding venue was no exception.

Soobin filled out inside the huge venue. Almost everyone was already here. The seating arrangement was that of a church, although Yeonjun’s family was atheist so it was a government official who would officiate the wedding. No detail was left out in the decoration. Each row of chairs was adorned of teal roses, just like the basket that hung on the walls. The aisle was covered with a silk white rug and petals were aligned at its end. A huge crystal chandelier weighed above them, and it lit up the room, veiling them in a golden, rose tint, which matched perfectly with the multitude of fairy lights that hung above and around them. Soobin had to give it up to Yeonjun’s mother. She had done a wonderful job.

That didn’t stop Soobin from feeling like crap. He walked to the stairs that led to the front of the venue. Yeonjun was already standing there, eyes avoiding Soobin’s, expression resigned as he looked down. That hurt Soobin even more.

Normally, Soobin was supposed to stand right behind Yeonjun, since he was the best men, but he had asked Beomgyu to take his spot.

He couldn’t assist so up close, otherwise he knew e would cry, and Yeonjun’s parents would hate him for ruining Yeonjun’s big wedding in from of those hundreds of important people.

The harp and cello player that were here to play were still practicing by playing a soft melody and Soobin tried to focus on it to calm himself down.

This was happening. He had to get over it, for Yeonjun’s sake.

“Are you not going to tell us what happened?”

He didn’t move as Taehyun’s voice filled out from behind him. He stayed put just as they all did, since they knew that Choi Yina was around, and they were asked to not move until they heard the word “ring” and “I do”.

He kept quiet, not wanting to talk about it. Not that the youngers would let him.

“You owe us an explanation, hyung. You locked me in the bathroom and ignored me. I thought I was going to die!” Kai hissed dramatically.

“Oh please, Kai. Don’t overdo it.” Taehyun huffed from behind Soobin, “He’s right though. You can’t just ignore us like that. I know what you did, and I want to know what exactly happened.”

“You know what he did?” Beomgyu asked, turning around in surprise, although he turned right back at Chaeryeong’s glare. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Soobin could hear the pout from his whiny voice.

“I just want to know if things are at least a little bit settled, hyung” Taehyun whispered in an almost plea, ignoring his boyfriend’s inquiry. Soobin wanted to keep quiet, but eventually he gave in. he owed them some kind of answer after what he had put them through.

“I guess they are… Hyung made his choice.” Soobin hushed back. Not lowly enough because Yeonjun turned around to look at him and his gaze said it all. Regret. Sadness. Apology.

Soobin looked away.

Yeonjun was about to say something but suddenly someone spoke up.

“Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome” It was Yeonjun’s mother holding a mic on one of the steps leading to the stage where they all were. “Please stand up for the bride and her father.”

The whole room did as tell and turned around to contemplate at the bride who was standing in her white dress at the end of the aisle, holding her father’s arm.

The soft music filled the room once again and Jeon Heejin walked the aisle gracefully in rhythm with it. The dress was princess-like. Bold blooms outlined in sparking glitter covered the sheer tulle of the lower part of the ball gown like wedding dress. The V-neck had lace that gave a vintage-like alluring build and the corset perfectly framed her delicate waist. On her head, her sheer white veil fell delicately on her shoulder to reach precariously the floor, barely covering her wavy hair that were pulled back by concealed pins. Her makeup was applied just enough to enhance her features and her moles had been painted as they stood out perfectly on both her blushy cheeks.

She was simply gorgeous. A blind man could see it, and the soft gasps filling the room was just a confirmation. Jeon Heejin was a beauty.

(Soobin bit the inside of his cheek at the thought)

She and her father walked down the aisle until she reached the first step leading her to the small stage. Her father kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled faintly before looking at Yeonjun and the government official. Yeonjun was nice enough to help her walk up the four steps stairs. Soobin couldn’t see his best friend’s expression, but he could see Heejin’s grateful bit strained smile at the gesture.

By the time the bride and groom stood in front of each other and the music finally stopped as the guest sat down at the cue, Yeonjun hadn’t let go of her hand.

(Soobin’s hands twitched at the sight.)

The officiant cleared his throat and with a smile started his mend, “Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We are gathered today to celebrate the Union of Choi Yeonjun and Jeon Heejin. We are all here to support this commitment of love and to share the joy of Yeonjun-ssi and Heejin-ssi as they choose to spend their lives together.”

Soobin didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or tear up. He was glad that the attention was on anyone but himself since the stage was quite large. How ironic that the officiant talked about a choice. It was quite obvious to anyone in this room that the choice had been made for them. A small grunt could be heard from behind, probably from Kai. Beomgyu fidgeted slightly in front of Soobin. None of this was right.

“Heejin-ssi, daughter of Jeon Mirai and Jeon Minho, and future CEO of the Jeon Corp.”

As it was said before, Soobin just knew how to read people, and Heejin’s blinking stare, although her posture was gracefully straight told _so much_.

“Yeonjun-ssi, son of Choi Yina and Choi Minhyuk, and future head of Choi Tech,” the officiant continued, receiving a small nod from Yeonjun. “Your marriage will be a lifelong promise of love and respect, trust and honor each other through the good, bad and the unexpected. This union represents your commitment to support one another as individual beings but share your joys, sorrows, and dreams as one.”

From his spot, Soobin saw a hint of sorrow in Heejin’s eye, even if she was smiling. She was trying to school her expression, it was evident, but her real feelings still cracked through her mask. She glanced in Yeonjun’s direction and a small frown took her face. Soobin wondered why.

“Now, you may proceed at the vows. Yeonjun-ssi?”

Yeonjun let go of her hand and swiftly took out some cards from his pocket. He remembered how Yeonjun had struggled with it, to the point he had written them on a drunken whim. He had later on asked Kai to review them. This was a week ago. Soobin hadn’t heard anything about it since then.

Something must’ve happened because he heard a quiet gasp from Kai behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyun asked from behind.

“Heejin-ah.” The blond started, “I promise that I will respect you as an individual, help you through hard times, rejoiced with you and to be loyal to you. I promise to help our love grow, always being there to listen, comfort and support you, whatever our lives may bring. And above all I promise to always love you as my husband and… best friend.”

The whole room suddenly got quiet.

Husband?

“As your what?” Heejin spoke up for the first time. Her tone wasn’t accusatory or angry, just confused. Just like everyone in the room.

“I— I’m sorry, I meant wife. My notes are a mess.” Yeonjun spluttered as he shifted. You could hear him struggling with his flash cards, the noise of sheets of paper being reorganized.

“It’s okay Yeonjun-ssi. Proceed.” The officiant said, although he himself seemed a little lost.

He had nothing on Soobin, though.

_Husband and best friend_.

Oh.

As soon as Yeonjun continued, his voice a little shakier, he heard a whispered “Kai, did you not recheck his vows?” Taehyun asked from behind.

“I might have forgotten.” Kai hissed out.

“What?!” Taehyun retaliated before Beomgyu turned around to shush them both. He looked panicked but he had to put on a face of composure. Someone had to and Soobin was barely grasping what was going on. He looked down at his hands, they were strained in stress.

“… I know things won’t always be perfect, but this is what being married about. To share our struggles, our issues, and joys together. To be there for each other at every step of our lives. And there’s no one I would rather go through life with than you _, Choi Soobin_.”

The gasps that filled the room were nothing compared to how Soobin felt. His legs buckled. He felt his whole face go red and his heart stopping for a second.

Beomgyu turned to Soobin in surprise, and he looked so shocked. Soobin didn’t even know what to say.

“Who’s Soobin?” Heejin asked, her face unreadable. She was frowning as if she was trying to remember who it was, and Soobin wanted to leave. He wanted to leave so bad.

“Choi Soobin.”

Choi Yina was quite intimidating in normal times, but when she was mad, it was like the whole atmosphere in a room shifted and she controlled gravity to make it so heavy.

She glared at her son, then at Soobin who felt dread taking him.

_Dread and love_.

“Yeonjun-ah, what is this about?” Yina asked as she rose from her seat in the front. the guest was whispering amongst themselves and suddenly people started staring at him. Soobin shrunk under all the unwanted attention.

Yeonjun couldn’t seem to answer his mother, his gaze was still going from his mother to his voiws, ignoring the agitation around him.

“Is this really happening?” Taehyun asked in disbelief and Soobin didn’t know himself.

Had Yeonjun really just said he wanted to spend his life with Soobin in front of everyone?

“Answer her!” Jeon Minho growled at her normally soon to be son in-law, whose gaze snapped up. He looked around himself, stared at his mother who was fuming as she waited for him to answer. Soobin couldn’t see his expression all that well, but it was most likely alarmed.

“Yeonjun-ah?” Heejin said again. And this time Yeonjun looked at her and Soobin almost missed how her shoulders seemed to untense a little. “Say something. Why are your vows about him?”

A silence. The whole room stopped breathing.

“… I can’t do it.” He whispered before saying louder, “I— I can’t marry you, Heejin-ah.”

“What?!” exclaimed The Choi and Jeon parents. They were all standing up now, and Soobin really wanted to exit, as their gaze were in disbelieved anger, switching between the groom and Soobin.

“I’m sorry.” Yeonjun muttered as he put away his vows in his pocket and took Heejin’s hand that seemed stiff. Her delicate features held a confused frown as Yeonjun squeezed her hand. “I can’t marry you, I… I have to go.”

That was all he said before he weaved passed his parents and Heejin’s parents and ran across the aisle until he exited the venue. Gasps and outraged squawks were all Soobin could hear.

“Did he just leave her down the aisle?” Kai asked in utter disbelief.

“Did he just admit he was in love with you?” Beomgyu turned around to look at Soobin and the move snapped people from their shock, and he felt hundreds of stares on him. Scrutinizing stares that all blamed him somehow.

He didn’t care, though.

He ran after Yeonjun, ignoring his friends’ calling after him and the daggers that Choi Yina and Choi Minhyuk were throwing his way as he exited the venue.

He crossed the lobby that gave on the streets. The venue was held in a city neighboring Seoul, more on the countryside than anything. Only there you could have the room to host such a party.

“Yeonjun?!” Soobin screamed as he stopped in the middle of the pathway that was right outside the huge castle-like venue. Some staff were walking by and looking like he was crazy, and he probably actually looked mad as he screamed for Yeonjun who was nowhere to be seen. The road was a gravel path that lead to a forest. Once you weaved through it, a huge gate welcomed you, since it was a private property that stretched on hectares.

He looked around and decided to follow the road that would lead him to the exit. He ran and ran, not looking back. He ran until he reached the gate, which was open, most likely because of the car that had just left the venue. He exited the property, stopping because how out of breath he was, looking around himself once again and only seeing concreate and trees.

He almost considered going back to the venue just to check if Yeonjun hadn’t just hid somewhere in it when blinking headlights caught his attention from afar.

He looked around until he noticed a familiar Hyundai hidden by some trees not far from where he was. Soobin gasped and ran some more to reach Yeonjun’s black Hyundai.

Once he was actually close, he heard the sobs coming from the car. He stopped right in front of the passenger door, the window was slightly cracked open and he could see Yeonjun crying. His heart wrenched at the sight of his best friend being in this state of distress.

He tried to pry the door open, but it was locked.

He knocked on the barely opened window, “Hyung, let me in, please.”

Yeonjun, who had his face burrowed in his hand, rose his head and his eyes were red and swollen from the tears. Soobin wanted to hug him, to tell him everything will be fine until he believed it himself.

When Yeonjun was still crying, looking at him, Soobin pleaded again in a soft murmur “ _Please_ , Junnie. Let me in.”

Yeonjun must have heard how desperate he was, because he just wiped his eyes and slowly nodded, he hit the button on the command on left and after Soobin heard the click, he opened the car door to sit on the passenger seat, locking the door instantly after.

Seeing Yeonjun so overwhelmed and sad rendered Soobin powerless. Seeing his love in such distress made him feel so hopeless. He barely knew what to say, as he heard Yeonjun sniffing, his sobs toning down.

He didn’t know what to say so he did what he always did when Yeonjun felt sad. He took Yeonjun in a soft embrace, the older not fighting the gesture, and started humming the lullaby that they had invented a long time ago, back when Yeonjun had been on the verge of tears because he was scared of the thunder, one night during one of their sleepover. It was a simple lullaby, but it always made them calmer no matter the situation.

It was once again proven to be useful because Yeonjun’s gradually breath slowed down he was only sniffing against Soobin’s collar, his whole face hidden in the crook of the younger’s neck.

Soon only Soobin’s voice and soft sniffles could be heard, and eventually Yeonjun sighed, and gently pulled away from his embrace, not forgetting to take Soobin’s hand as he straightened up on his seat. The end of nose was as red as his eyes and ears. Track of fresh tears still marked his face, and Soobin used his free hand to wipe them away gently, not without softly cupping his cheek. Yeonjun close this eye briefly to lean in the warmness of Soobin’s hand.

“I’m so screwed.” Yeonjun eventually huffed out, his eyes opening to gaze at Soobin with a soft but panicked look.

“Yes, you are,” Soobin found himself answering, because honestly, there were no use sugar coating things. They were both screwed, “Your parents already weren’t fond of me, but now they definitely hate me.”

Yeonjun finally showed a hint of a smile, exhaling a bitter chuckle as he looked down their intertwined hands, “If that make you feel any better they probably hate me even more for ruining their big business partnership.” He then looked up, his head hitting the head of the seat in a soft thud, exhaling out, “That’s definitely not how I imagined coming out to them.”

“You did get the reaction right, though.” Soobin said lightheartedly to dampen the mood and it worked because Yeonjun actually laughed and pushed him with their conjoined hands. Soobin whined a laugh and the atmosphere loosened up a little.

“I can’t believe I just did that, Binnie,” Yeonjun exhaled “I just walked out on my family. Just because of those freaking vows.” he cursed as he pulled out the cards. From his seat, Soobin could see the scrawny words written sloppily like any drunk person would. He saw his name written several times and his heart fluttered at the sight. Yeonjun had really only thought of him as he wrote his wedding vows.

“I loved those vows, though. ‘Felt personal.” Soobin muttered, looking at Yeonjun in light fondness. Yeonjun looked at him, and for the first time since the day began, there were no nerves or distress, but only a clear expression of exasperated love. Soobin was pretty sure that he looked at his hyung the same way.

“For what it’s worth, I meant every single word.” Yeonjun said with an earnest gaze, and Soobin felt his face go red at how much he was in love with the man seating next to him.

He answered by pulling Yeonjun to him until their lips were inches away. His gaze mapped out every detail of Yeonjun’s face, as if it would be his last chance to do so. His nose was now a shy tint of pink, just like his cheeks that were blushing form the proximity. His eyes were shining from the leftover tears that were precariously hanging from the corner. Finally, he closed them and crossed the last inches to kiss Soobin fully.

This kiss was different from the ones they had shared in the changing room back in the venue. They were more careful, slower but also so emotionally charged and languid. Soobin felt Yeonjun’s tongue cross the seam of his mouth to lick inside of his mouth. He mewled at the feeling. The noise must have set something in Yeonjun because he suddenly took Soobin by his nape and pulled them closer. There was still the console separating them but that didn’t stop them from being so close.

Soobin bit Yeonjun’s lips and kissed him as passionately as he could, if only to express how much he loved him. If only to show how grateful he was that Yeonjun had chosen him. No matter if it were to defy his parent’s orders, or to avoid being locked in something he didn’t want. All Soobin could see was that Yeonjun had chosen him.

They kept on, sharing kisses, lips intertwining like they were molded solely to be connected together, until Yeonjun pulled away carefully, not forgetting to leave pecks on Soobin’s dimples, nose, forehead and once again on his lips. It sent shivers through Soobin’s spine.

They were both breathlessly smiling at each other, the world completely muted around them.

“You said something about us running away?”

Soobin blinked leisurely, once, twice, before nodding. Yeonjun smiled at him cutely, because honestly, he probably looked dumb, complete dazed from the moment they just had shared.

“Uh… yeah. I— are you sure, though?”

He knew that they both felt so much but Soobin also knew how much Yeonjun needed to have his parents on his good side. It was ingrained in him, and it just hit the younger that running away meant that there would be no turning back. He didn’t know what he would do if Yeonjun came to regret this and blamed him for it.

His mind started spiraling down to the point he almost suggested coming back to the reception but Yeonjun beat him by kissing him again. This time it was short and sweet, Yeonjun’s soft hands grazing his cheeks, thumbs caught in his dimples.

“Choi Soobin, I just confessed in front of the most powerful people in Seoul that I wanted to spend my life with you. Things are pretty set in stone at this point.” Yeonjun muttered with an ironic smile. He still had a hint of nervousness as he said, “Run away with me?”

Soobin felt goosebumps rising all over his body at the familiar words. Yeonjun’s wide doe eyes sparkled and God, Soobin couldn’t say no to this man.

“Alright…” he whispered with a now broad smile. Yeonjun smiled back and kissed him one last time before pulling away.

“Alright.” His best friend exhaled before putting his seat belt on and turn on the car by pushing the button next to the wheel. Soobin hastily put his seatbelt on as Yeonjun started pulling out from where he had hidden his car.

God.

They really were doing it.

**✜ ✜ ✜**

For all the confidence that Yeonjun seemed to have, Soobin could see Yeonjun’s hand shaking on the steering wheel as he started driving away from the huge property. He quickly put his hand on Yeonjun in reassurance, and the elder’s expression cleared once again, breathing out and relaxing as much as her could, throwing a grateful look towards Soobin’s way. Soobin just smiled at him.

He truly loved that man.

Once they were on the main road that would allow them to join the freeway, Yeonjun quietly asked “So… where to?”

Soobin peered at his best friend. He looked so perfect, even with all these signs of struggling, he still looked breathtaking as ever. The sun was setting, leaving the sky in a perfect blend of golden rose and blue hues, hitting Yeonjun’s profile perfectly. Soobin looked at the time on his phone, ignoring all the messages from his friends.

_5:53PM._

It wasn’t too late.

“Let’s leave Seoul.” Soobin suggested, “take the A1.” He showed and Yeonjun did as he was told, not without raising a brow in question.

“What did you have in mind?” Yeonjun asked softly.

Where to go, Soobin asked himself. Soobin was lucky he was in the middle of the summer holidays; he had no duty to attend to. It was only a matter of where to go in order not to be found by people they knew. He racked his brain to find a place that Yeonjun would enjoy, where he could stop thinking about his problems for even a second.

Then he got it.

“Let’s go somewhere where the sun never set.”

Yeonjun briefly turned to look at him in question, smile stretching on his lips softly, and it just lit up his whole face. He bit his lips and let out a knowing chuckle.

“I just know the place.” Yeonjun laughed shakily. His face was still red, but Soobin was _enamoured_. 

In this moment his mind was empty except for the vision of the sky's colors that filled his heart in a warness, paling in comparison to how much he felt when he saw the beautiful smile that adorned his hyung's face. 

Soobin looked at his love and exhaled a low, “Let's go then _._ ”

And off they went. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> Soooo, this used to be a chaptered work, but i decided to make it a one shot,, I had ideas for this fic but life happened and i just stopped writing. this ending is appropriate in some way ig? Maybe? Tell me what you think of it :D
> 
> Tbh, I could be convinced to keep going but I'll need some kind of motivation that I do not have right now.  
> I'd love to have your opinion on whether i should keep going, but tbh (no pressure)
> 
> Love yalllll


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